Thanksgiving's Pre-Modern Origins: True Doctrine!

I've read various histories of America's annual Thanksgiving tradition, and most point to George Washington and Abraham Lincoln as the people who got it started. But I learned during my scripture study this week that the holiday's true roots go back much, much farther.

Thanksgiving originated in the law of Moses. The law of Moses was nothing if not specific about food, and the first instructions for what foods to eat at Thanksgiving are found right in the middle of the law in Leviticus (7:11-13):

And this is the law of the sacrifice of peace offerings, which he shall offer unto the Lord. If he offer it for a Thanksgiving, then he shall offer with the sacrifice of Thanksgiving unleavened cakes mingled with oil, and unleavened wafers anointed with oil, and cakes mingled with oil, of fine flour, fried. Besides the cakes, he shall offer for his offering leavened bread with the sacrifice of Thanksgiving of his peace offerings.

Here we see that crackers and donuts played a very important part in the first Thanksgiving, as did dinner rolls. It's clear from v. 8 that dads have been eating the nice, crispy turkey skin from the very beginning:

And the priest that offereth any man’s burnt offering, even the priest shall have to himself the skin of the burnt offering which he hath offered.

The long-standing tradition of little kids insisting on getting exactly as much food as their siblings finds its roots in this chapter as well (v. 10):

And every meat offering, mingled with oil, and dry, shall all the sons of Aaron have, one as much as another.

This difficult requirement was balanced by the fact that everyone was supposed to do their own cooking (v. 9):

And all the meat offering that is baken in the oven, and all that is dressed in the fryingpan, and in the pan, shall be the priest’s that offereth it.

This also explains why preparations for Thanksgiving still yield so many dirty pots and pans.

The amount of turkey prepared per person in ancient Thanksgivings was apparently smaller than in modern observances, since they were required to eat all of it before sundown (v. 15):

And the flesh of the sacrifice of his peace offerings for thanksgiving shall be eaten the same day that it is offered; he shall not leave any of it until the morning.

Of course, due to the lack of refrigeration in those days, this practice might have been necessary to prevent food poisonings as v. 17-19 may indicate:

But the remainder of the flesh of the sacrifice on the third day shall be burnt with fire. And if any of the flesh of the sacrifice of his peace offerings be eaten at all on the third day... it shall be an abomination, and the soul that eateth of it shall bear his iniquity [a Hebrew euphemism meaning "he'll get what's coming to him"].

From this we must conclude that the tradition of turkey enchiladas and turkey sandwiches made from leftover turkey was a much later interpolation, possibly from the Talmud.

Prayer was a later addition to Thanksgiving, an innovation brought back from Babylon by the Jews who returned to rebuild Jerusalem with Nehemiah (11:17):

And Mattaniah the son of Micha, the son of Zabdi, the son of Asaph, was the principal [or first] to begin the Thanksgiving in prayer: and Bakbukiah the second among his brethren, and Abda the son of Shammua, the son of Galal, the son of Jeduthun.

It was none other than the psalmist who initiated the practice of moderating his food intake at Thanksgiving, perhaps having suffered long enough at the abundant table of an overzealous mother-in-law. When she asked if he wanted more, he replied saucily, "If I were hungry, I would not tell thee," (Psalm 50:12) but tempered the rejection with a joke and redirected her attentions to God, the rightful recipient of Thanksgiving offerings (v. 13-14):

Will I eat the flesh of bulls, or drink the blood of goats? Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High.

The psalmist also restored the practice of going to the temple at Thanksgiving (see Psalm 100:4) and apparently started the tradition of singing every Thanksgiving song in the hymnal within the week before the holiday (see Psalm 147:7).

In New Testament times, the new doctrine of considering all animals clean led Paul to recommend experimentation with non-traditional Thanksgiving foods, making him the patron saint of tofu turkeys and Chinese carry-out (1 Tim. 4:4):

For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with Thanksgiving.

So the next time someone tells you Thanksgiving started with the Pilgrims or a declaration by Abraham Lincoln, point them back to the real first Thanksgiving way back in the Bible.

Turkily,
Steve Stay

Try Producing Mixture Of Texts Divergent

Silliness contest!
Ten points to the person who can write the best summary of a book that Nathaniel Hawthorn and Lucy Maud Montgomery might have written together if they had been contemporaries.


Some suggestions:

Anne of Seven Gables

The Scarlet Hair

Melodramatically-told Tales

The Blythedale Romance

The Marble Halls

The Great Stone Face and Other Tales of Marilla Cuthbert

Post your submissions in the comments.

Combinatorially,
Steve Stay

Teased Person Misunderstands Others, Tries Discussing

I need advice. People frequently tease me and then explain that they were just joking. To me, it looks like they think I didn't get it. That worries me, because I usually understand when people are just joking, and I think I respond in a way that makes it pretty obvious that I get it (e.g., smiling, laughing, making a snide comment in return, etc.). So why don't they get that I get it? And why don't they seem to have this problem with other people?

Perturbedly,
Steve Stay

LDS Prophet and Apostles Speaking at General Conference

We're coming up on October again, and the first weekend is the semi-annual General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I always feel excited about General Conference because I know I'll get to hear the Prophet and twelve Apostles speak. I've gone into more detail about why that's important in a previous post, but I'll mention it again here: it's no small thing to know that a man who's the equivalent of Moses lives on earth today and still reports God's most recent direction to his people. Nor is it a small thing to know that God will confirm for you that what the prophet says is true if you listen to what he says, ponder it over, and pray to God about it. It's the same pattern anyone can use to find out for themselves that the Book of Mormon is true.

So I hope that you'll join me (if not in person then online at the General Conference link above) to hear what God's only authorized spokesmen have to say this year.

Tiny Prodigy Mumbles Outstanding Theoretical Discourse

Boy, this is a week of wonders! Not only can Elliott apparently crawl, but he can talk, too!






Absurdly,
Steve Stay

Tyke Prods Mom's Organs Toward Delivery!

Despite this post being almost a week late, it's time to announce that on July 1, 2009 at 5:55 AM, Elliott Maxwell Stay was born to a very satisfied mom and dad. He was just a few pennies short of 9 pounds (8 lb. 15.81 oz., to be precise) and 21 1/4 inches long. He has been very well-mannered and adorable, and is probably the cutest baby ever to live. I submit the following for evidence:

Here he is with Grandma Stay

Here he is with hiccups he inherited from me.

Baby!

Ha ha! Fooled you. No, the baby hasn't come yet, but Rachel and I made this cute clay animation movie to pass the time until he does.

We made a blacklight neon version, too!

We do have some news about the baby: Rachel is dilated to 5 cm and 70% effaced as of this morning's checkup. She hasn't been having frequent contractions, though, so there's no telling when Baby Stay might decide to make his appearance. I'll keep you up to date as more news comes. Until then, enjoy our movies!